saiunkoku- the fan

Disclaimer: I don’t owe Saiunkoku Monogatari T_T and I don’t earn any profit from this fic…. But the story is mine!!!

My first saiunkoku fan fic. I simply love Kouyuu!!! He’s the best! Anyway…. Let’s get on with the story.


A little hand reached out slowly.

Just a little more, a little more, the little boy thought.

However, just before his fingers touched it, it moved and tapped his fingers. It was not painful but the little boy jumped. He took a step back immediately and studied the floor while mumbling an apology.

“Kouyuu,” the owner of the fan said as he opened the fan to hide his smile of amusement. Though he had no idea why the boy wanted the fan, it was fun to see him try. Not that he was going to let the boy know that too.

“I’m really sorry, Reishin-sama!” Kouyuu apologized though he didn’t look up from the floor, “I’m really sorry.”

“Kouyuu, what did you want with the fan?” Reishin asked the boy as he reached out with his fan to tip the boy’s chin up.

“I…I… just want… it…” Kouyuu said quietly though he still refused to look at Reishin.

“Kouyuu,” Reishin said sternly.

“I… just want to know what’s so special about it!” Kouyuu said quickly after a slight pause, “you are always carrying around it!”

Or looking at it. Yet, you seldom look at me… Kouyuu thought sadly, no. he was not jealous of the fan. He just wanted to…

“Kouyuu? What are you talking about?” Reishin frowned as he studied the boy. He could not understand what the boy was talking about. There seemed to be something he was missing here.

“I… I just don’t like it…” Kouyuu said softly as he still refused to look at his adopted father.

“I really have no idea what is going on in your mind,” Reishin sighed as he lowered the fan, “this fan is a gift from my aniue. Of course, I bring it everywhere.”

“Shouka- sama’s gift?” Kouyuu muttered as he scrutinized at the fan in Reishin-sama’s hand, “then I can’t throw it away…”

“Throw it away!” Reishin’s fan opened and closed with a snap, “you wanted to throw away Aniue’s gift! How dare you!”

“I…I’m sorry, Reishin-sama! I…” Kouyuu was at a loss of words as he looked at his glaring father fearfully, “I… just wanted to see…”

“See what?” Reishin snapped. How dare the boy wanted to throw his things away!

However, he was curious as to why the boy wanted to throw his fan away. He could not think of any reasons why Kouyuu would have anything to do with his fan, much less wanted to throw it away.

“I… I just wanted to…” Kouyuu trailed off before he seemed to make up his mind to overcome his fear, “I just wanted to see your smile!”

“My smile? What does the fan have anything to do with it?” Reishin snapped again though he was privately glad that though the boy was a bit fearful of him, when Kouyuu was determined, he will overcome the fear if he wants to.

“I… Yuri-san says… you do smile at me but you always hide it behind that fan…I just wanted to make sure that…” Kouyuu said incoherently as tears started to fill up his eyes, “I thought if… the fan is not there… then I can… see…”

“You silly boy,” Reishin sighed inwardly, “even if you can’t see, you should know. That’s enough, isn’t it?”

“Reishin-sama?” Kouyuu looked up as he felt the hand petting his head gently.

“Kouyuu, if you do something that really pleased me, I will smile and let you see. However, it will just be a small smile,” Reishin said as he bent down slightly to look at the boy in his eyes.

“Really?” Kouyuu asked hopefully, “then I just have to please you?”

“It’s not going to be easy, Kouyuu,” Reishin said as he opened the fan again, “I am not an easy man to please.”

“I will work hard, Reishin-sama! I will work really really hard!” Kouyuu promised as he smiled brightly, “I will be useful to you, Reishin-sama!”

“Really? But do you even know how to do it?” Reishin asked in a monotone though the fan was once again, hiding his amused smile.

“I will pass the imperial exam quickly! Then I can help you with your work, Reishin-sama!” Kouyuu said as he smiled brightly.

“It’s not easy to pass the exams and you are not allowed to use the Kou influence too. Plus the fact that you just started on learning how to read and write,” Reishin questioned, wanting to see if the boy would wavered at the thought of obstacles.

“I will work doubly hard then,” Kouyuu answered determinedly as he looked at his adopted father.

Reishin was very pleased to note there were no doubts but determination in those eyes. However, he hid his feelings behind an expressionless mask.

“I will be waiting. But remember this, Kouyuu,” Reishin closed his fan with a snap and pointed it at Kouyuu, “remember, you are not allowed to touch my fan! Much less to throw away a gift from my aniue! Do you understand?”

Kouyuu nodded his head quickly before he ran out of the room at top speed. It’s not like he was determined to throw the fan away. He just wanted to see if Reishin-sama really will smile because of him.

“I will make Reishin-sama be proud of me!” Kouyuu said determinedly as he jogged harder towards his room, “so all I have to do was to study hard!”

However, it was the direction he thought his room was, not the direction where his room was. Poor Kouyuu did not realize that he had passed by Reishin’s door again, heading in the wrong direction towards his room.

“That boy. He needs to find his way first before he can even start to study,” Reishin muttered as he hid behind the door, looking at Kouyuu who seemed to have lost his way again, “he’s ten years old and he still did not have a sense of direction? At this rate, he will be forty before he passes the exams. After all, the exams are not that easy. Then again I love to be surprised.”

Years later, at the age of sixteen, Kouyuu had become the youngest Jougen at that time and Reishin graced him with a little smile. Then again that was only towards Kouyuu. For people like Reishin’s best friend, Houju…

“Reishin, wipe that goofy smile off your face! That face did not suit you at all! After that, get out of my office!” Houju yelled at his friend who had stepped into his office, smiling like an idiot.

“Have you heard, Houju? Kouyuu is the youngest Jougen ever! He’s my son, alright!” Reishin bragged about his adopted son to his friend.

“Get out! You have told me that since yesterday. I do not want to hear it again! Now get out!” Houju yelled as he pulled his mask from his face to properly glare at his friend.

“Now, now, Houju, don’t you want to hear more?” Reishin continued his brag with that smile of his on his face.

Though he had not ever seen his friend this happy before, he did not want to hear any more words from his mouth. He needed to do his work.

“Get out!” he yelled one final time before putting his mask back. However, Reishin just continued. Sometimes, Houju had no idea why such a person was considered his friend.

gundam wing--mask --christmas

Ok, I decided to type a sequel to it… maybe a few chapters more? Well… depending on the reviews I receive…

Disclaimer: I don’t owe gundam wing T_T and I don’t earn any profit from this fic…. But the story is mine!!!

“Duo!” Quatre screamed fearfully as he sat up. However, bright rays of light made him shut his eyes quickly.

“It’s okay. You are safe now,” Trowa’s voice broke through his thoughts.

“Trowa?” Quatre asked as he opened his eyes slowly this time, “where’s Duo? He’s alright, isn’t he?”

“Yes. I think he’s in his room,” Trowa replied in a monotone.

“Good. It’s all my fault. If I had not dropped that stupid disk, we would not have been discovered! I can’t believe I am this stupid!” Quatre said angrily as he tried to stand up.

“What do you mean?” Wufei asked from the door. He had heard Winner’s voice and decided to take a look.

“Huh? I mean it was my fault… Duo had to do a lot to get us out of there. We were captured yet somehow he was able to escape and save me. Guess I should have taken those lock-picking skills from him. It’s all my fault!” Quatre answered as he noticed the shock looks on both Trowa and Wufei’s faces, “what’s wrong?”

“But… but you were unconscious…?” Wufei asked as he was beginning to regret his actions towards the other pilot. Had he wrongly accursed his fellow comrade?

“Another stupid thing I did! It’s bad enough that I can’t drive a Jeep. I could not even grab the pole tightly and slipped, hitting myself out! I am so pathetic!” Quatre answered in disgust, “I hate myself!”

“You…” Wufei was at a loss of words and Trowa was not much better. He was looking at the blonde pilot in shock. Well, after all both of them had wrongly accursed their fellow pilots. Thinking back, Maxwell did not say anything. He was the one who started ranting and Trowa just threw that punch.

“Wait! You need to stay in bed,” Trowa protested weakly as Quatre stood and started to walk out of the room, not realizing that the other two were not acting themselves.

“I’m fine! I need to apologize to Duo! It’s all my fault! Is he okay? He took quite a beating. His ribs seemed to be hurting earlier. How long was I out?” Quatre asked worriedly before realizing something was amiss, “what’s wrong? Did something happen to Duo?”

“No. I think he’s alright. He should be in his room,” Wufei answered numbly as he tried to suppress the guilt that seemed intent to surface.

“Okay,” Quatre answered skeptically as he made his way out of the room, leaving the other two pilots in their silent guilt.

“Barton…” Wufei called out hesitantly at the other pilot after a long silence.

“I think I need to apologize,” Trowa said quietly, “you too.”

“I know… but he… he did not correct us,” Wufei argued weakly, this is injustice! Maybe I should not have assumed that it was Maxwell’s fault. But how was I to know that the boy was not in the wrong with the way he was acting? Maxwell was so immature and childish. He was weak and he did not know anything! He did not know how important this war is! He did not know how cold the touch of death is…he didn’t, did he? After all, all of us had killed before including Winner. He had even claimed himself to be Shinigami…Maybe… had I been wrong?

“Did we give him the chance?” Trowa asked quietly, did we even try to get to know him other than assuming him to be a happy clown?

Maybe I was really wrong… Wufei thought guiltily, “I… I …need to think… alone…”

“What do you mean?” Quatre’s voice questioned them sharply from the doorway.

Quatre had peeked into Duo’s room quietly. He did not want to wake the pilot up if he was asleep. However, moonlight filtering into the room told him the room was empty. Where was Duo?

Maybe he’s hiding again? Quatre had thought fearfully. Duo always has a habit of disappearing at times. Once, he managed to catch him before he did. It was then he realized that the braided pilot was injured. At that time, he scolded him and in a way as Duo had said “mother-hen” him almost to death for the rest of his recovery.

It was then he started observing the other pilot. He realized that though the pilot was bugging everyone about their health after missions, he kept quiet about his own injuries. Since then, he made sure to ask Duo about his status after every single mission. It was bad of him to take advantage of Duo’s never lying promise but he felt that the least he could do as his comrade was to look after his health.

Fearful of what might have happened to Duo, Quatre had dashed back to find Wufei and Trowa discussing on what seemed to be the need of an apology to Duo. Something was really not right.

“Quatre?” both of them turned towards the room in surprise. Neither of them had heard Quatre’s return.

“What happened? And why is Duo not in his room?” Quatre snapped. The two of them had done something and instinct told him it was not something good.

“I… we… we thought it was his fault,” Wufei answered nervously, “he did not correct us so we thought we were right and…”

“So I guess you started to rant about his weaknesses or something? How could you all just assume it’s his fault? After all, it’s more probable to be mine since I am green about this type of missions?” Quatre snapped at the black-haired pilot, “how could you just say it’s his fault when he’s the expert at this field?”

“How was I to know that? He was so unprofessional! Everything was about fun to him!” Wufei protested defensively, “not only that, he was always so immature! So childish! So... cheerful... Does he know how much pain this war is causing to people? Does he know the hurt of the loss of beloved? Did he know how much other people are suffering? How can he call himself Shinigami? Does he even know the meaning of that word?”

Yes, he did not know. If not, how could he act so cheerful? How could anyone be so cheerful… so alive…Wufei thought as he was about to start yelling again.

However, he was cut off at the gun pointing at his eyes. He was shocked, speechless. The blonde pilot had pointed a gun at him. Out of the five of them, the blonde pilot was the one Maxwell had said to be the least “trigger-happy”. He was the one who hated killing the most. Yet, he was pointing a gun at him, in his face.

“If you dare to say that again, or worse, say that in front of Duo, I will not hesitate to kill you,” Quatre threatened in a low voice so unlike his normal voice, “I once overheard a conversation between Duo and Professor G. he called him the Maxwell demon and Duo told me his name reminded himself of the important events in his life on L2. What do you think?”

“Maxwell church?” Trowa gasped, surprised. Even he had known about the tragedy everyone was talking about it. There was only one sole survivor who had disappeared right after. Could it be? It could not, could it? He was actually with Chang. He always thought that the braided pilot was too loud, too cheerful, too… alive… but he knew that the other pilot had a hard life.

He did recognize how the other pilot tensed up sometimes, how his eyes looked so dead at times and more importantly, he recognized the look of despair his face showed once or twice when no one was looking. He had always convinced himself that it was just a trick of light. Maybe it wasn’t?

“I... I need to apologize to him,” Trowa said quietly, “Quatre, please keep your gun. Both Chang and I will apologize to Maxwell.”

“What did you do?” Quatre asked calmly though he was seething inside. He might be angry that Chang had misunderstood Duo but Trowa too? Had all of them except him thought that Duo was useless? Was that how they viewed the other pilot?

Trembling in anger, he lowered his gun as he waited for Trowa’s answer. He had thought that Trowa would understand the braided pilot. After all they were quite similar in a way. Both of them had this same aura that Quatre could not explain. It was different from the other three pilots. He did not know how to explain it but he thought it might have to do with each of their own past. Maybe he was wrong.

“I… hit him…” Trowa answered quietly, breaking the tense silence. Before he finished the sentence, he could already feel Quatre’s wrath directed at him. He deserved it. After all, he did something terrible stupid. It was worse than Chang. Chang had only attacked Maxwell verbally but he had attacked him physically.

“I… you… I want nothing to do with you two! I… he was injured and you did nothing but made it worse instead? How? You… I… I hate you!” Quatre yelled harshly as he left the two shocked pilots alone in the room.

He could not believe them. These were people he thought was his comrades, his friends… his family… how could they hurt one of them so badly? Without any proof? With just assumptions? Had they meant so little to one another?

“Heero?” he called as he knocked at the Wing pilot’s room. Maybe he knew where the other pilot was.

“Winner?” Heero’s voice replied as the room opened a little, “what do you want?”

“Duo is missing! Do you know where he is? He might be injured! We need to find him quickly!” Quatre answered quickly.

“Keep your voice down!” Heero glared as he tried to slip out of the room quietly, “I barely managed to get him…”

However, his words were cut off before he could finish.

“Is that Quatre?” Duo’s drowsy voice travelled across the room.

“Yes. Go back to sleep. You need the rest,” Heero answered as he glared at Quatre.

“I’m fine, Heero,” Duo argued as he tried to sit up, only to hiss in pain.

“Baka,” Heero scolded though he did help Duo to sit up gently.

“Thanks,” Duo grinned as he turned to Quatre with a grin, “so what can I do for you, Sir?”

“Duo… your face…” Quatre said quietly as he stared the bruise on Duo’s face.

Oops! He can see it even in the dark? Duo thought as he put on one of his patent grin, “well… I tend to be clumsy you know. It’s okay. It will be gone in a few days.”

“It… wasn’t there when we escaped…” Quatre continued, still staring at that bruise as he tried to suppress his wrath at what Trowa had done to his comrade. How could he?

“Well… I collided with something,” Duo said with a smile as Heero snorted at his answer.

Yeah right. He collided right into Trowa’s fist, Heero thought as he opened his mouth to explain to Quatre. After all, Quatre should know what had happened since it was partly his fault. However, he found himself keeping quiet when he saw Duo’s pleading stare.

That baka! Heero thought angrily, why must he always think of everyone else except himself? Why must he always suffer in silence?

However, Heero could not refuse Duo’s silent plea to keep quiet. He understood his intentions. He did not want to cause a drift in the other pilots. Yet somehow, Heero felt anger stirring up in his heart. Why must the baka always be the one to get all the blame? Why must he try so hard?

“Duo… I already know,” Quatre’s words broke through Heero’s thought, “you might not lie but I can tell when you skirted around the truth.”

Yeah, his tone changed to a bit too innocent, Heero thought absent-mindedly, Quatre sure is observant.

However, that was not what Duo was thinking, Damm, I did not want Quatre to know. It might spark off an argument or worse break the team. I could not allow that to happen.

“I’m okay, Q,” Duo assured Quatre as he smiled faintly, “Heero, do you mind…”

“I will go and get Trowa. You need to get your ribs look at. He’s the most experienced out of the rest of us here,” Heero answered Duo’s unspoken question.

“Thanks,” Duo smiled as Heero walked out of the room, giving the two of them some privacy.

“It’s all my fault. It’s my fault! I’m so sorry, Duo!” Quatre cried as soon as Heero left the room.

“Q?” Duo called quietly, “it’s not your fault. It’s just an accident.”

It was just an accident. It was definitely not Quatre’s fault that the two of them assumed it was my fault, Duo thought as he hugged the other pilot.

“No! It’s my fault! And they… you… how could they do that? I hate them!” Quatre cried as he pulled away from Duo’s hug. He did not deserve it. Duo should be angry at him, not comforting him!

“Quatre!” Duo snapped as he made the other pilot look at him, “do you really mean it?”

“Mean what?” Quatre was confused. He knew Duo was going to be angry at him but what did he mean?

“Do you really hate them?” Duo asked in a monotone, “think carefully. From your heart! Do you really hate them?”

“I…I… I don’t know… I was just so angry…” Quatre replied uncertainly. There was something strange about Duo. It was seldom that he lost his temper like this.

“Don’t say things like that when you don’t mean it, Quatre,” Duo said quietly, “don’t say such things if you don’t mean it…”

This time, it was Duo who refused to meet Quatre’s eyes. He seemed so depressed.

“Duo?” Quatre called out, touching Duo’s face gently, “are you alright?”

“It’s not your fault? Or any of the others, okay?” Duo said softly, “just don’t say things like that to anyone if you don’t mean it.”

“Why? What’s wrong, Duo? I… I had already yelled at Trowa and Wufei that… so it’s a bit too late now… but Duo, what’s wrong?” Quatre asked as Duo turned his face away.

“Duo?” Quatre shifted slightly to look at his eyes, being careful enough not to touch the other pilot for fear of causing him pain, “Talk to me?”

“I… it’s nothing. And everything that happened is not your fault, okay?” Duo said quietly as he plastered a smile on his face. A smile that did not reach his eyes.

“Quit hiding, Duo! You don’t lie but you hide everything with that dammed mask! Sometimes, it makes me want to just use my gun and shot that stupid mask!” Quatre exploded, “Stop doing that! Can’t you see what you are doing? You are only hurting yourself!”

“I… Quatre? Calm down, will you?” Duo spoke gently, surprised at the anger Quatre was showing.

“I will promise to apologize to them later, Duo. But first, you must tell me what makes you so depressed. I know I shouldn’t force you but it’s not healthy, Duo. Bottling all your feelings will make them worse and eat you alive someday,” Quatre spoke quietly, “and it hurts, you know. Not only to you, but to me. To the rest of us. I don’t know about the two idiots now but to Heero and I, it hurts when you hide your pain, refusing to let us help.”

“Q, happiness deserves to be shared but pain is to be suffered alone?” Duo tried to argue weakly though he found himself unable to summon one of the grins he always faked.

“You know, I actually thought we can be one family, a dysfunctional one but a family. However, after this, I’m not so sure. I always thought of you as my brother, you know. The one who share and care for me. The one I can share and care with,” Quatre smiled gently, “that’s why it hurts when you were falsely accursed. That’s why it hurts when you hide things from me. From us! Can’t you see how special you are to us? To me? You are a friend, a comrade, a brother to me!”

“Family?” Duo whispered quietly, “I used to have one or two. But now, I don’t know. I like to think we are a family as well, Q. but it still hurts when I thought of my families. I lost them and it hurt. It really hurt. But if you really care about everyone of us, Quatre, please will you apologize to them for what you say? Please? I promise to tell you why I was a bit upset if you promise me.”

“I promise but after they apologize to you, Duo,” Quatre spoke firmly. He admitted he might be too harsh with the two of them but he could not stop himself after what they had done to his friend, his savior, his brother…

“I… I said it once to someone… heck, I yelled at him that I hate him. And then he died… in my arms… I didn’t get the chance to apologize, Quatre! He just… he just…. It’s my fault! If only I had been faster! If only I… he must hate me… even till the end… he must have hate me! I was so stupid! After all he did for me… I said I hate him. I am one ungrateful streetrat! I hate myself, Quatre! I hate myself! They were right, you know. I screwed everything up even if it was unintentional,” Duo continued to babble on and on as he recalled over and over the day when he yelled at Solo and when Solo finally died in his arms.

“Oh, Duo,” Quatre could feel himself crying as he tried to console the other pilot. The hurt. The pain. The lack of forgiveness. He could understand actually. His relationship with his father had always been one of his regrets. However, he did not actually yell at his father that he hated him. But he could imagine the pain.

Anger boiled within Quatre as he heard the way Duo was blaming himself. He was suffering from what the two of them had done. However, to be fair, he was the one who had started this. Not only had he dragged this out from Duo, he had also be the reason for what the two of them had done to him. If he had not screwed up that stupid mission, nothing would have happened.

“I… was trying so hard, Q. I’m sorry for breaking down like this. I thought I was okay already after that few minutes with Heero. How come it’s getting more and more difficult? Why is it more difficult to put on my mask now?” Duo muttered quietly though he refused to look at Quatre.

“It’s because we trust each other, Duo,” Quatre squeezed Duo’s hands encouragingly, “you are my brother. That’s why you can talk to me. Cry in front of me. Laugh at me. Yell at me. Would you be my brother? I never had a brother. You are the closest to the one I would imagine for a brother.”

“Really? you want to be my brother?” Duo asked in surprise as he turned his gaze away from the blanket to meet Quatre’s eyes, “that’s what Solo used to say we are... were…brothers since he practically raised me.”

“Yes, I’m sure, Duo,” Quatre answered surely as he noticed the hope glimmering in Duo’s teary eyes. He realized how much the other pilot wishes for a sense of belonging. At the same time, he felt honored that he wanted to be his brother. He was such a brilliant and strong individual. If only, he could see it.

“Then you be my family?” Duo could not help asking.

He knew he sounded like a weak vulnerable child but he did not care. It was a long time since he had cried in front of someone. Yet in the space of less than a day, he had cried twice. Once in front of Heero and now Quatre. Maybe it was because he trusted them? With Quatre, it was like taking care of one of the little one in his gang or at the church.

However, with Heero, he did not know how to describe that feeling. He had stirred some weird feelings within him. He just knew he wanted Heero to be happy more than anyone else.

“Yes, you can be my family. Though it will be a big family with my twenty-nine sisters,” Quatre smiled, breaking Duo’s thoughts, “we can be the family you used to have. Like at the church or the gang.”

“The church? You know?” Duo asked as he noticed Quatre’s blush.

“I happened to overhear a conversation,” Quatre answered quietly, “it’s an accident.”

“It’s okay. I was on the streets since I could remember. Solo found me and raised me, I guess. Though he was a kid himself, at that time. He was my first family. We were a gang as well as a family. You know, Solo used to say, we may not be a family by blood but we are a family by choice so we have to be closer. Then he … died… after some months of dodging, we did a stupid thing but we got the best thing that happened to us. Father Maxwell took us in. Then I got my second family and then…” Duo could no longer continue as he lost himself in memories again.

“Well, then we can be a family okay?” Quatre said firmly as he smiled brightly, “okay, little brother?”

“Hey!” Duo protested, “why am I the little brother? If anything, you are younger than me.”

“Well, I know my birthday and you don’t,” Quatre smirked.

“Oh? What makes you think that I don’t know when your birthday is?” Duo argued, “when’s your birthday anyway?”

“December 12th,” Quatre answered, “so when’s yours?”

“Well… I just guess mine June 12th then,” Duo replied cheekily.

“Then you can be my older brother then,” Quatre sighed before he realized something, “what do you mean by you guess? Duo Maxwell!”

“You already said I am older!” Duo stuck his tongue out in retort as he shifted slightly.

“You! Fine. Only for now, sooner or later we are going to find out your birthdate. With today’s technology, I don’t believe we can’t do that. And then you will be my little brother, then,” Quatre really wanted to have a younger sibling. After all he was tired of being the youngest.

“You wish!” Duo smiled. All of a sudden, it was as if something had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt better. At least mentally, his ribs were killing him now.

Quatre noticed his slight wince as he started to shift Duo back to his lying position, hoping to put less strain on his ribs. Duo really needed to get his ribs looked at as well as some sleep. He looked tired but it could also be due to his mental drain.

“Quatre,” Duo said softly as he laid down, “do you really think we can be a family?”

“Yes, Duo,” Quatre answered, “well, if those two can find the screws they lost in their heads, we will be one.”

Duo laughed at Quatre’s choice of words, “you know, Q, I think I am rubbing off you. Anyway, it’s neither their faults nor your fault, you know. Remember to apologize to them, okay? With our missions, you don’t want it to be one of the regrets in your life. And I know one of them has a special place in your heart.”

“Duo!” Quatre protested as he blushed. How could Duo know?

“Anyway,” Duo continued in a softer voice, “to have a family, it’s one of my childhood dreams a long time ago. I remembered, peeking through the windows on Christmas. A family was sitting round the fireplace, laughing, singing, talking. Then the children squealed in joy as they opened presents under the Christmas three. It was warming. I hope to get that one of the days. But I was content too, you know. With Solo, we have to live on the streets and we barely had essentials. Then at the church, we were poor but Father Maxwell and Sister Helen tried their best. I was fighting this war to give such Christmas to everyone, even the orphans on the streets and also myself.”

“Duo…” Quatre called softly as Duo turned his gaze towards the moon outside the windows.

“Do you think this day will come? Can everyone be happy? Can I have a family where we can sit together, doing what we like comfortably and enjoying every Christmas we have?” Duo asked quietly and Quatre thought he saw a lone tear flowing down Duo’s cheeks.

“Yes, Duo. The day will come,” Quatre smiled though Duo still did not look at him, “and for that, I will apologize to them. We will keep the family together, okay?”

“Yeah,” Duo answered as he closed his eyes.

“Sleep well, my brother,” Quatre said quietly as he tucked the blanket around him, “I promise the day will come.”

With that, he stood up to walk out of the room, stopping at the corridor where the other three pilots were standing. However, Quatre did not seem surprised at all at the presence of the other three of them. He had heard them somewhere during the conversation he was having with Duo. Luckily, Duo was into much torment to detect their presences.

He looked at the two pilots, “well… I promise Duo and I must do what is right… I am sorry for yelling out things I don’t mean. I was just angry…”

“I… no… you did nothing wrong. I was the one who did the injustice. I should be the one who is apologizing. To you and to Maxwell,” Wufei said quietly. He had heard everything and now his mind was in chaos. He did not know what to think. He had misjudged the other pilot so much yet the other pilot still trusted him, wanting him to belong to his family.

“Yes. It’s my fault, not yours, Quatre,” Trowa continued after Wufei, “I need to check on his injuries and apologize to him. And I can only hope that both of you can forgive me sometime.”

“I forgive you, Trowa if only you forgive me,” Quatre replied as he smiled in relief.

“If you are all finished with this game of apologizing, I need to get into my room. And don’t any of you wake him up. Give him an hour of rest before you check on him, Barton,” Heero glared at the rest of them before entering the room silently.

“You know, one day, we will be able to sit around and enjoy Christmas as what Duo had described. And every Christmas after that,” Quatre said quietly as he looked at the closed door to Heero’s room.

“Yes, I am sure that will come true,” Trowa replied determinedly.

“Yes, I will do it on my honor. If you excuse me, I have a lot to think about,” Wufei said as he turned and walked back to his room to do some mediation.

“Soon, soon, the day will come, Duo.” Heero whispered in the room as he sat down beside the bed, looking at the sleeping angel next to him, “very soon, the day will come and I want to spend every single one of it with you.”

Outside, the wind blew slightly and snowflakes started to descend quietly, covering the world in white.


Wrote this on Christmas day. Wishing everyone a belated merry Christmas and a happy new year. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. I might be uploading another chapter soon if I can finish it…

pdfish

mask

Disclaimer: I don’t owe gundam wing T_T and I don’t earn any profit from this fic…. But the story is mine!!!

Hi all! Hope you all enjoy this one-shot! It is about Duo and Heero…
Well… just read? ^_^

“What happened?” Trowa demanded angrily though he took Quatre’s limp body from Duo, “Status?”

“We screwed up,” Duo answered sheepishly, not meeting anyone’s eyes, “and 04 sustained a concussion and some bruises.”

To say the truth, his vision was blurred. He could hardly see the others even though he knew the lights were on. His whole body was hurting but he held on to his mask. He had to.

“I am sorry, guys. We got caught when we were almost out of the base,” he said simply. Somehow, his mind could not think of anything to say now.

“You mean you screwed up. I doubt Winner will make any mistakes,” Wufei started his rant, “this is injustice, Maxwell! The war might be just a game to you and your gundam is your toy. But the rest of us here take the war seriously! Let me guess, the mission failed because you were playing? Or you made a reckless move? It is this attitude that makes you the weakest link in our group! And what’s more is that you hurt your comrade due to this attitude of yours! Don’t you think you should be responsible?”

Game…Toy…Reckless…Weakest… Hurt comrade… Duo thought sadly, so that’s how they thought of me. Maybe my mask was too good? Or am I really that bad? Am I really that worthless?

Yet the mask had to be there, Duo decided as he tried to summon a fake grin and think of a smart reply like he always did. To hide the pain that he felt from those words. However, he swayed a little and his mind could not think of anything.

“I am sorry, guys. Maybe I should have held on to the disk,” Duo answered as he added mentally, and not give it to Quatre. Then he would not have dropped it and we would not be discovered.

Without a word, a punch was thrown into his face. He could not see who did it but he knew it had to be Trowa. After all, Trowa cared a lot about Quatre.

“Stop it, Barton,” Duo heard Heero yell as he stood up slowly.

I deserved it, Duo thought, it’s my duty to look out for Quatre. Moreover, I can’t have them think it’s Quatre’s fault. Let me take the blame. However, I still have to keep my mask. God, it’s so tiring. I think I am slipping away. Must go to the room as soon as possible.

“I say I’m sorry! Isn’t it enough? I am going back to my room!” Duo yelled angrily.

Without waiting for an answer, he turned and started to walk in the direction of the outline of the stairs towards his room.

One foot in front of the other. Yes, Duo, you can do it. Just a little more. After the stairs, turn right. Yes, slowly. One foot in front of another, Duo thought.

After what seemed like hours of moving his feet through sheer will, he had finally managed to grab the knob on his room door or at least he thought was his room. He could no longer see anything.

Once he opened the door, his world became dark and he fell limply on the floor.

***************

Downstairs, Wufei was still ranting about the injustice of giving a gundam to an irresponsible boy while Heero was suppressing the urge to punch Wufei right in the face. That might stop the boy from ranting about things he did not know about and teach him not to insult Duo again.

But then the perfect soldier will not do that, Heero thought, the perfect soldier will not punch his comrade just because that person is ignorant and rude. No, the perfect soldier will just ignore the ranting and continued with what he is doing. And I am the perfect soldier.

But then again, I hate this perfect soldier thing, Heero thought angrily, why must I be the perfect soldier? Follow my emotions, that is what Odin had thought me yet, being the perfect soldier means having no emotions. So what am I supposed to follow? Why must I be the one to be deprived of having emotions? To be the perfect soldier?

“He had to reflect on his actions! This is injustice that…” Wufei’s words were really irritating Heero but on the outside, Heero made no show of his annoyance.

“I am going back to my room,” he said in a monotone and started towards his room without waiting for an answer.

Maybe it is my duty to be the perfect soldier and Duo to be the joker? Heero continued his thoughts as he walked towards his room, speaking of Duo, there was something wrong about him just now. Maybe the failure of the mission was not his fault. Duo treats all his missions seriously as he does to everything though he does everything with a smile or a joke.

To say the truth, Heero was quite intrigued with the braided pilot. He had researched the pilot’s past. There was almost nothing but Duo did say he was from L2 and his name was of great significant to himself. The name Maxwell Heero could relate to anything from L2 was the Maxwell Church Massacre. If Duo was the sole survivor mentioned in the news, then how could he act so cheerful?

Then again, sharing a room with the braided pilot a couple of times enabled him to observe the boy more often. When Duo thought that no one is around, he is very different from what he usually acts. He is quiet and seems to be deep in thoughts. Heero knows this as a fact. He had spent quite a number of times observing the boy without the boy knowing his presence. Master stealth, the boy might be but he was not as good as Heero when it comes to detecting other people’s presence.

It was like a mask the braided boy wore when he was around the others. A happy joking mask to hide his real self. Like him, Heero hides all his true emotions behind his perfect soldier mask. Death glares and threats.

It was then he realized that Duo might be hurt. He did not stay and tease Chang about his ranting or to make sure Quatre was okay. He did not even report his own status. He had retreated to his room quickly.

That baka! Didn’t he know he should let the others know about his injuries? After all, isn’t he the one who always fusses over each of our injuries everytime one of us comes back from our missions? Heero ranted mentally.

Duo is always jumping around, asking everyone how they are feeling. It did annoy him as the braided baka shot questions after questions at him. But no matter how he threatened Duo, Duo does not give up until he is sure he is alright or that he is fine. Yet only Quatre is the only one who always asks about Duo. And that said person was now unconscious.

Just as he was about to knock on Duo’s door, he realized that Duo did not have a first aid kit in his room. They had only managed to find three of them. The rest of the kits were in their own gundams. He was supposed to share one with Duo until they could find more of these kits.

Cursing silently, he made his way to his own room. However, as he opened his door, he tripped over something lying across the floor. Instinctively, he switched on his lights with one hand while the other hand grabbed his gun in seconds.

Once his vision adjusted in to the light quickly, he realized in shock that he had tripped over Duo.

Duo was lying on the floor, not moving.

Shocked, he kneeled down and checked the pilot’s pulse. He was relieved when he found the weak but definite pulse. Gently, he carried the pilot and put him down on his bed. Then he went to retrieve the first aid kit in his bathroom.

He shook the braided pilot tenderly, trying to wake him up to get his status report. He did not want to touch his wounds or anything. From what he could see and smell, he was sure that the baka was not bleeding.

“Duo, wake up,” he said as he shook the braided pilot.

After a few minutes of shaking, Duo finally opened his eyes and stared at Heero, confusion showing in his eyes for a few seconds before they focused on Heero.

“Heero?” he asked, “what are you doing in my room?”

“Baka, you are in my room,” Heero replied in a monotone, “status?”

“I am fine! I am just tired!” Duo managed a grin though he was feeling pain all over his body.

“Hn,” Heero snorted in disbelief. He could see the pain in Duo’s eyes. It was really like a mask. A broken one since Duo was in to much pain to hold the mask together. He just had to know how to look past that mask.

“Status or I could just strip you and discovered that myself, and I still want to hear your report on the mission,” Heero commanded.

“Fine,” Duo answered, “just some bruises, nothing I can’t take care of. We went in, got the data, disk dropped, discovered, got caught, got beaten up, got out, came back and mission failed.”

Duo said quickly, trying not to give in to his pain and weariness. One of his ribs might have broken since the pain in his chest was so overwhelming. He could hardly breathe. He was trying so hard to slow his breathing to ease the pain. Moreover, his eyelids were so heavy. Yet, he had to keep up his mask. After all, he is happy cheerful and irritating Duo.

“Baka,” Heero scolded, “just admit you are in pain.”

“No way. I run, I hide, but I never lie! So I’m fine!” Duo protested as Heero tried to unbutton his shirt.

“You don’t lie. You only leave out things that are important,” Heero stated in a deadpan as he looked at the bruises across Duo’s chest, “where else?”

“Only the chest,” Duo answered, wincing as Heero shifted him a bit to wrap bandages around him, “and the head where Trowa hit me just now.”

“I think one of your ribs might be fractured. You will need to have Sally or Trowa to look at it later. Now breathe shallowly and don’t move so much,” Heero ordered, “what exactly happened?”

“Huh?” Duo asked, confused.

“How you got the bruises? How Quatre got hurt?” Heero asked as he finished shifting Duo on the bed.

“Well, we got caught and then they handcuffed me and Quatre from the ceiling and all,” Duo answered jokingly, “well, I think my mouth doesn’t like myself. As usual, they got angry and started to beat me up. But they only managed for a short time before they were called away. By then I got the key and we got out. We took a truck and dashed off with Oz, hot on our tail. I think Quatre hit his head as I turned the truck too quickly. He did not use the seatbelt. So moral of the story is to use a seatbelt?”

Heero snorted in reply. Only Duo could joke about a mission. However, Duo’s thoughts seemed a bit incoherent. He could see that he seemed to be in pain but was hiding behind his mask.

As usual. Use his mask to hide. What’s new? Heero thought sarcastically.

“The disk?” Heero asked. Somehow he knew that Duo was not telling him the whole thing.

“I did not hold on to the disk,” Duo replied with a sheepish grin, “I am sorry. But I had destroyed the information at Oz base. The disk was destroyed before they could get it back.”

He’s hiding something. He kept using the word “held on” and not “dropped”. He never lie but he hides, Heero thought as he continued to ask in a monotone, “did you drop the disk?”

“I told you I should have held on to the disk!” Duo snapped as he cursed mentally, Shit! did Heero know I am hiding? How? Isn’t my mask holding?

“I ask you, 02, did you drop the disk or not?” Heero pressed on.

He had to know he can stop hiding with me. Not for his sake but mine as well. Everytime he hides, there is this pain in my heart. Like I am upset that he does not trust me. I want him to trust me. Shit! I am not supposed to be feeling this, Heero cursed himself mentally but on the outside, he was glaring at the braided pilot.

“I…I…it’s my fault, okay?” Duo tried weakly.

“Yes or no?” Heero smirked, knowing that Duo could not lie or hide with a direct question. It was easy to exploit Duo’s motto of “I run. I hide but I never lie.”

“No,” Duo murmured quietly, “I passed it to Quatre.”

“Okay, so it’s Winner who dropped it?” Heero just said quietly.

“It was not Quatre’s fault that he dropped! It was a mistake anyone could make!” Duo defended his friend as he winced in pain. He really should not be shouting.

“If it’s not Quatre’s fault, it is even less likely to be your fault,” Heero said simply.

“Heero… do you think I am really worthless?” Duo asked hesitantly.

Wufei’s words started to echo in his mind, reckless… the weakest link…

“Baka,” Heero merely scolded.

“Maybe Wufei is really right. I mean everything I do, someone gets hurt. I am the weakest here?” Duo said self mockingly.

“You’re not, Duo. Ignore Chang,” Heero glared at Duo. In his mind, he wished that he had really punched Wufei for all the nonsense he had been ranting.

“Heero, can I ask you a favor?” Duo asked seriously. He did not know why he was going to do that. But somehow, he knew he could trust Heero.

“Hn,” Heero answered as Duo tried to sit up, “baka! What are you doing?”

“Heero…can…you don’t look at me for five minutes and lend me your shoulder?” Duo said softly.

“Duo?” Heero asked with a hint of confusion though he did shift a bit to allow Duo to lean on his shoulder without causing more pain to his chest.

“Please, Heero, don’t look at me now? I will continue to smile by the end of the five minutes. Just a little while? I promise I will turn back… just let my mask mend? I am so tired…” Duo asked as Heero brought his hands up to hug the injured boy gently to provide some comfort.

“It’s so tiring, Heero. I am so tired… I want to break the mask and throw it away. But I can’t do that! It is a part of me that I cannot survive without. But I am so tired and I don’t want to do this anymore…” Duo murmured softly.

“Am I really the weakest link? Am I the one who keep hurting others? I tried so hard to make sure the others are safe yet everyone I care about kept getting hurt? I am trying, Heero but it’s so hard and I don’t know if there is anyone in the world who appreciate my effort… but I can’t stop trying… it’s like giving up… but everytime I care about someone… the person dies… why?” Duo muttered.

“Solo… Father Maxwell… Sister Helen… maybe I should not be close to any of you like what Wufei had said I m hurting my friends. You might die like the others I care about. Maybe I should not be here. After all… I only create chaos and pain,” Duo continued.

Heero could feel his shirt becoming damp but Duo made no sounds to indicate he’s crying. To say the truth, Heero was stunned at the thought that Duo was crying.

Is this the same cheerful mischievous boy that I have known? The boy that jokes and plays pranks on everyone? The pilot who cannot stop his chatter even in battles? Heero asked himself, how can he manage to keep that mask up? How can he hide all his pain? I only see glimpses of it and maybe Quatre knows something about his feelings with his space heart. But the others… I don’t think they even have a clue…

“I’m sorry for being weak… but I have already tried so hard… it’s so tiring…” Duo continued quietly. Heero thought he heard suppressed sobs.

How long have you wear the mask, Duo? Heero asked in his mind, how long?

“I… I… thanks Heero. I think five minutes are up. I am sorry for letting you see me like that. I’m sorry. But don’t worry. My mask is mended. I am back. Don’t worry I won’t let down my mask. Thanks and sorry,” Duo babbled on as he pulled himself away from Heero. He could not look at Heero in his eyes.

He must hate me for being such a coward. I am so weak. And I cry. Big boys don’t cry, Duo scolded himself mentally, but it felt so good to be comforted by someone.

“I think I will go to sleep,” Duo said as he added mentally, if everything fails, hide. Talk in the morning or some other time.

“I’m not sorry,” Heero said in a monotone that caused Duo to look into his eyes.

“Huh?” he could not understand what Heero was implying.

“I’m not sorry for what you just did. And you should not be too,” Heero said again.

“Heero?” Duo was confused and lost. He could not process Heero’s words. His mind was tired and his eyelids were dropping as Heero shifted him gently back to lie on the bed.

“It’s good to let out your emotions and you are not the weakest link. Chang was ranting nonsense. Now go to sleep,” Heero said tenderly.

“Heero?” Duo could not help thinking that it was not reality. Heero Yuy does not speak gently!

“Just go to sleep, Baka,” Heero said again as he switched off the light and ready to exit the room. Looks like he had to spend the night in Duo’s room instead.

“Wait, Heero!” Duo called out, wincing once again at the pain.

Why is it so hard to remember not to shout? I must really like to hurt myself, he thought darkly.

“Yes?” Heero answered.

“Can you stay with me?” Duo asked hesitantly. Somehow, he felt safer when Heero was around and with Heero, he did not have to worry about nightmares, “it’s okay if you don’t want to. I am just being an idiot.”

Heero snorted but he walked towards Duo and shifted Duo a bit before holding him gently. He made sure that he was not hurting Duo. Duo tried to say something but he was cut off by a yawn.

“Go to sleep, baka,” Heero said, “just know that you might have a strong mask but I have a stronger hammer.”

“Heero?” Duo asked, surprised.

“Don’t keep your mask. It’s not healthy to wear it all the time. One day, I will break your happy mask.” Heero merely said.

Is he saying that he could see my mask? Is he saying that he does not like me wearing the mask all the time? Does that mean that he cares about me? Duo thought happily.

“Heero, does that mean that I could break your perfect soldier mask someday? The mask does not suit you,” Duo replied quietly.

Heero’s eyes widened in the dark, he could see through my mask as well? I did not know he knew about the perfect soldier mask.

“Hn,” Heero did not know what to say.

“Ne, Heero, can I use a scythe instead of a hammer? Scythe is much cooler,” Duo said as he drifted off to sleep.

“Baka,” Heero scolded lightly though a smile was on his face. Too bad Duo could not see the smile.

“One day, we can throw our masks all away, Baka. Oyasumi nasai,” Heero whispered gently as he too drifted off to sleep.


Okay! Finished… thanks for reading!

peace knights chap 8

“Why are you leaving Duo out of this, Heero?” Trowa asked as he sat on one of the big armchairs in his room.

“Wufei told me that it has something to do with the peace knights,” Heero replied, “I don’t want Duo to get involved.”

“Don’t you think that you are overprotective of Duo?” Trowa asked again as he glanced at the door.

“Like you are not overprotective of Quatre?” Heero retorted. No, he was not overprotective of Duo. He was just... very protective of Duo.

“I don’t think I can match up to you, brother,” Trowa answered, “at least I did not keep things from him.”

“Well, I am not keeping things from him,” Heero said, “I am just trying to ensure that he is not exposed to danger.”

Trowa raised an eyebrow at his brother, “and that is the definition of over protective.”

“I’m not over protective of Duo. I’m just concerned about his safety,” Heero said angrily and Trowa only smirked.

Heero glared at him. He was about to snap at his brother when there was a knock followed by Treize’s voice to ask for permission to enter.

“Enter,” Heero snapped as he continued to glare at his brother. Unfortunately, Trowa was unaffected by his glare and merely raised an eyebrow.

“What’s wrong?” Treize asked as he noticed the glare Heero had been fixing on Trowa since he entered the room.

“I’m not overprotective of Duo,” Heero snapped again.

“Oh really?” Treize said with a hint of amusement in his voice, “I guess babying Duo and protecting him are different things.”

“I did not baby him!” Heero snapped and glared at the general.

However, Treize just chuckled and Trowa just smirked. He glared at them but unfortunately, both of them were unaffected to his glare. Heero just glared and turned to the door.

“Where are the others?” Heero demanded, changing the subject. Maybe he was a little over protective of Duo, but just a little.

“well, Wufei is coming with the ambassador of Mag. Hilde is getting Quatre from the library and leaving Duo there,” Treize answered, “why isn’t Duo included in this discussion? Quatre is his friend too.”

“I don’t want him to get involved with the peace knights,” Heero stated once again.

“But isn’t it unfair for him?” Treize asked, “It is not good to keep secrets from one another.”

“Well, his safety is more important. He is vulnerable compared to us,” Heero argued. Duo’s safety was the most important thing to him.

“Well, leaving him in the library alone might not be safe,” Trowa questioned, breaking the few minutes of silence, “he might run into some noble or get into trouble.”

“Not really. It might be the best place to leave him alone,” Heero answered.

“Why?” Trowa wondered.

“Yes. Because nobles don’t go to the libraries. They think they are too clever to need to go to the library,” Heero smirked.

Trowa just raised his eyebrows in question while Treize thought for a moment before he asked thoughtfully, “why do I have the feeling that I am being insulted? I am a noble too, you know.”

“Well, you never go into the library unless Wufei is in there,” Heero retorted, smirking.

Just then, a knock interrupted Treize’s retort.

“It’s me, Wufei and the ambassador from Mag. Permission to enter?” Wufei asked respectably.

“Enter,” Heero said simply.

“So what is it that you need from us, ambassador?” Treize asked when the two entered the room.

“I have some information to give and questions which all of you have answers to,” Rashid said respectfully, “and this is very important as it concerns the relationship between my country and yours.”

“What is it that it is so important that you decide to talk to us and not the king?” Heero asked in a monotone. This had better be important and not waste his time.

“It is regarding a peace knight,” Rashid answered hesitantly, “I am sure that all of you have heard about the legend of peace knights?”

“Yes, I assured you that all of us in this room are very familiar with the legend of the peace knights,” Treize answered, “and from what we gathered from Wufei earlier that this has to do with Quatre?”

“Yes, It had to do with Master Quatre,” Rashid answered.

“Master Quatre?” Trowa questioned.

Just then a knock interrupted Rashid’s answer. It was Quatre. He walked in uncertainly, trying to hide his nervousness. He glanced around and smiled uneasily before he sat down beside Trowa.

Trowa placed his hand over Quatre’s clenched fists. His little one was very nervous. He was even trembling. Why? The other times when he had seen Quatre this nervous were when he was with strangers. But everyone in the room except the ambassador was definitely not a stranger.

Trowa glanced around and noticed the others were looking at Quatre with concern. However, Wufei was glaring at the ambassador even as he shot concerned glances at Quatre. He caught Wufei’s eyes, silently asking him the reason for Quatre’s behavior but Wufei just shook his head. Trowa glared at him but Wufei just ignored him.

Trowa was tempted to hug his little one. Quatre seemed to be more nervous as the tension in the air thickened. No one spoke. Everyone in the room seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. Trowa squeezed Quatre’s clenched fists gently, silently offering him some comfort. He had surpassed his urge to hug Quatre as the ambassador was around. Public affection to a slave might have consequences. He would not risk Quatre being hurt.

“So Quatre is here,” in the end, it was Wufei broke the silence. He could see how the silence was affecting Quatre, “can we get started on the reason we are gathered here?”

“Oh yes,” the ambassador snapped out of his thoughts.

He could see how scared his master was. Was it because of him or was it because of his master, the prince? He had heard of the treatment of slaves in this foreign country. He hated to think of what his master had endured during his disappearance.

“I will cut straight to the point,” Rashid said as he looked at Quatre, “I hope that you, Master Quatre, can return back to Mag.”

“No! I am not going back!” Quatre glared as he stood up, “I am not going.”

“But Master Quatre, His Majesty is worried sick! You have to return,” Rashid pleaded as Quatre shook his head, tears falling.

“Don’t call me Master! I am no longer a master! I am a slave! I have been a slave for years! All of you don’t want me so forget about me! I am happy here! I don’t want to go back!” Quatre shouted at the ambassador as Trowa tried to calm him down.

“Quatre, calm down please,” Trowa said gently as he wrapped his hands around his slave, trying to calm him down.

“Please,” Quatre begged as he turned to look at his master, “please Trowa, I don’t want to go back! I want to be here! I want to be with Duo and Wufei and everyone! I want to stay here with you, please!”

“Calm down, Quatre, Prince Trowa will listen to you,” Wufei comforted as he moved towards the blonde.

“I really don’t want to go back,” Quatre pleaded tearfully as he sat down beside Trowa again. This time Trowa wrapped his arms around Quatre gently, trying to show that he cared.

“Of course, you can do whatever you want, little one. No one will force you,” Trowa answered gently, “we just want to know more about you.”

“I think it will be better to let Quatre do the talking. He can decide what he wanted to tell us or not,” Treize suggested, “I trust Quatre to tell us what is important.”

“I agree,” Heero said for the first time Quatre had entered the room, “he should tell us what he wanted.”

“It’s okay. I trust all of you here with what Rashid had to say but…” Quatre hesitated, “but I don’t think you all will trust me after you heard what he had to say.”

“It’s okay, little one. Nothing will change after we hear anything. I am sure of that,” Trowa assured Quatre before glaring at the ambassador as if daring him not to say anything he will regret.

“Why don’t you start to tell us who you are?” Treize asked, “I still think you should do the talking since you are the person in question. I know that nobody here wants to talk about you like you are not here.”

“I… though it is hard to believe, I think I trust Rashid to reveal all about my past and I … I don’t feel like relieving all those memories. It… it hurts,” Quatre said quietly, “please?”

“Of course it’s okay. No one will make you do anything you don’t want to,” Wufei answered before he glared at the ambassador as well. He could understand Quatre’s feelings. He too had memories he rather not relieve.

“I don’t agree. I don’t trust him as I trust you, Quatre,” Heero stated as he turned his glare from the ambassador to look at the blonde in concern.

Rashid was getting more and more nervous with more glares being thrown at him. However, he was glad that his master’s friends or rather, his master’s master and those ranked higher than his master cared that much for him. At least he knew that Master Quatre was in good hands. He was not treated as poorly as those slaves that he had encountered so far in Gundam.

“How about you give us a summary and we get the details from Rashid?” Treize proposed, “However, we will not get details if you do not wish for us too.”

“It’s okay,” Quatre gave them a brave smile, “I have nothing to hide. Just that I feared that none of you would want to treat me the same after hearing my past. However, with all the kindness you had shown me since I was here, I think you all deserved to know my past.”

“Speaking of which, since Duo is not here, do you think you can tell him about this as well, Prince Heero? I mean the parts where you feel that he might want to know or are safe for him to know,” Quatre added.

Duo was his best friend in this castle. He felt that Duo deserved the right to know about his past just like the others. However, he had witnessed how protective Prince Heero was. Prince Heero did not even allowed Duo to wander around alone, fearing for his safety. It was cute for them to watch but to Duo, Prince Heero was restricting his freedom. He was upset about it, thinking that the prince did not trust him. But then again, Prince Heero always managed to cheer the upset boy up in a short while. It was sweet.

Heero nodded and gestured for Quatre to start. Quatre took a deep breath and started.

“My name is Quatre Raberba Winner. I am the only son of King Zayeed Winner and Queen Katherine Winner of Mag,” Quatre paused for a moment before he added “Well, I do have twenty-nine sisters” as an afterthought.

“Twenty-nine onnas? How do you survive?” Wufei blurted before he blushed and muttered an apology.

Quatre giggled, “I knew that you will say that!”

“And I think you have been spending too much time with Duo,” Trowa teased, knowing that Quatre was using this to ease off the shock he had given them with the revelation that he was a prince.

“I knew that I should have separated them more often even if Duo can’t speak! Now we have another hyperactive pranking monster with us! This is injustice!” Wufei started to rant before Treize stopped him.

“Come on, Dragon. Do you think Duo would not influence Quatre if they spend less time together? You have to admit Duo is too much a force to stop if he wants something. Or if he wants to play a prank. Nothing stops him,” Treize gave a chuckle, catching a glare from Heero.

“Can we get back on the topic?” Heero growled as he knew that the rest of them were edging to the topic of how he was never able to reject any requests from the braided baka.

“I am sorry, Prince Heero. Just could not resist,” Quatre apologized before his expression turned serious again, “I was thirteen when I met the Maganac Corps.”

With that, Quatre could not help but looked over at Rashid. He remembered the first time they met. It was a few years back.

“Welcome to the Maganac Corps’s village, Prince Quatre,” that was the first thing Rashid had said to him when he first met him.

He had snorted and chose to ignore the man. He was such a spoiled prince then, thinking that he was above them.

“Some things happened. Nothing major. Then it was when I was fifteen that things went out of hand,” Quatre continued.

Blood started to pool from below the portrait and screams echoed around the room. It was a while before he realized that he was the one screaming.

“My powers started to get out of hand. There was an accident and my powers were no longer able to be ignored. My father had decided to send me away to a teacher to help me with my powers. I think the teacher was someone named Instructor H,” Quatre said uncertainly, “my father… my family was ashamed of me. They don’t want anyone to know about my powers. So they sent me away. They don’t want me there with them.”

He thought he heard someone protest but memories flooded his vision…

“I don’t want to go, Father!”

“No, Quatre! You have to go.”

“But Father! Why can’t we invite the teacher into the castle? I don’t want to go there!”

“Listen to what you are saying, Quatre! I thought you are no longer the spoiled prince after the encounter with the Maganac Corps. You will have to do as I say! Grow up, boy!”

“But… Father! Please let me stay! I have a bad feeling about this!”

“No Quatre! You have to learn to control your powers! We can’t let you stay here till you do that! So stop your protests! You are a prince act like one!”

“But Father! Are… are you ashamed of me?”

“Do you really want me to answer that, son?”

“I…I… Father… I understand…”

“Then go, Quatre, you are wasting my time with your nonsense! And you are to set off alone. Consider that your training. What king can you be if you are such a coward?”

“But Father… I am not afraid…I have a very bad feeling about this!”

“Stop finding excuses! Don’t use your emotions as a guide! You should think with your brain sometimes and not your heart! So go! Get out of here!”

“I… but Father! I…I … I understand…”

I had begged Iria after that. It was a very bad feeling. But then they sent me away… they are really ashamed of having a freak in the family… Quatre thought, now that Trowa and the others knew. They are going to send me away as well. They might have thought it was safe for me to stay here before but now that they heard about how my family had reacted, they are going to send me away! I’m sure they would! They will never look the same at me again, knowing I am an outcast from my family.

Someone hugged him from behind. It was a warm hug. It was as if the person was trying to tell him that he was safe here. The hug brought him out of those upsetting memories. The hug told him that he was not someone to be ashamed of.

It was Trowa. Someone he had met less than a month ago. Yet, he was someone he trusted with his life, with his heart. Someone he knew that would protect him. His master, Prince Trowa. Quatre thought Trowa would be disgraced by him. Trowa ought to send him away. Far away, maybe back to the slavers, far far away. So Quatre would not bring shame to him.

“You are not a shame to anyone, little one. You can stay here. I will not send you away. I am not ashamed of you. I am proud to have a peace knight with me, Quatre. But you can leave if you want,” Trowa whispered.

“But even my family sent me away. I am a freak!” Quatre protested weakly.

“No that’s not true, Master Quatre!” Rashid protested loudly, “Your Majesty was not ashamed of you! It’s just that…”

“Just what, Rashid! He almost admitted that himself! Father did not want me as his son! He had disowned me when he sent me away!” Quatre yelled angrily.

“It’s Earl Douglas,” Rashid said abruptly.

“What? What about Douglas?” Quatre asked, puzzled at the sudden change in topic. He failed to see how his cousin had to do with his family sending him away.

“The assassin was Douglas,” Rashid said simply.

“It can’t be,” Quatre said softly, “you are joking…”

“What’s wrong, Quatre? Why are you hiding here?”

“Go away! Leave me alone!”

“Sorry, cousin dearest but I am concerned about you. Come on, my prince, why are you crying in the cave?”

“I say leave me alone, Douglas!”

“Well, not sure I can do that Iria is worried sick about you, you know. Why are you hiding here?”

“Are you deaf? I said leave me alone!”

“Quatre, don’t push me away! Didn’t you say that I am like your big brother? Little brother should not hide his problems from his big brother, you know!”

“But you are leaving! You don’t want to be my brother!”

“… It’s that what you are crying about? Quatre, you are upset because I am leaving this palace?”

“Yes! Why are you leaving? Why do you need to go to the castle near the border?”

“Cousin, you know about the bandits right? I volunteered to fight them off.”

“But why? You might get hurt. You are safer here.”

“Quatre, you do know that as a part of the royal family, you are required to protect your people?”

“I know, but there are so many other people? You are only eighteen. Why should you go?”

“Quatre, do you think that age matters if you know you can help people no matter how young you are? Will you leave your people to die, just because you are too young? Or will you do whatever you can to save your people?”

“……”

“I think you understand, cousin. We grow up together. Though you might be a spoiled brat at times, I know you are kind and care a lot about other people. One day, you will be a great king, like your father. And if that day comes, I hope to be helping you. In order to do that, I need to gain more experience if I want to be able to give you good advice, Quatre.”

“But…”

“Quatre, just remember my words, okay? Be someone who cares about others and not be a selfish man, like my father?”

“……”

“I am leaving tomorrow, cousin. So promise me you will try your hardest to learn and be a great king?”

“…I promise…”

And that was the last time I had been, Douglas. I have always missed his gentle smile and comforting words, Quatre thought, but he couldn’t be the person who tried to kill me! He couldn’t! He wanted to be my advisor! Why would he try to kill him? It makes no sense!

“I am so sorry, Master Quatre. We tried to keep it from you. The assassin you killed was indeed Earl Douglas. We did not learn about his motives but His Majesty suspected Duke Acht but there was no evidence,” Rashid explained, “however, the duke not only refused to admit that his son was the assassin, he accursed His Majesty of murdering his only heir.”

“I killed him…” Quatre trailed off in shock, “I killed my own cousin with my uncontrolled power… Douglas… my big brother… my advisor…”

“His Majesty had no choice but to send you away to learn to control your power, Master Quatre. He kept the identity of the assassin from you to protect you. No one was supposed to say anything to you, Master Quatre. All of us knew how close the two of you had been,” Rashid explained as he looked at his trembling master.

“Quatre,” Trowa said gently as he tightened his hug, please be okay, my little one.

“Duke Acht had managed to rope in almost all the nobles to threaten His Majesty. His Majesty might be the king but he could not do everything. He could not go against all his advisors. He had no choice but to send you away to learn to control your powers,” Rashid explained, “however, he wanted to make sure that you are safe, Master Quatre. We had no idea if the duke would try another attack on you, Master. His Majesty told the nobles that you are going to the Desert to look for a hermit master when you are actually going south. A small troop was sent out as a decoy while you sent off that day.”

“What happened then?” Quatre whispered out the question. He had a very bad feeling.

“They did not return. Not one of them,” Rashid replied as he looked at the floor, “we did not know if any of them survived or not. But there were no bodies found.”

“How many?” Quatre asked. His mind told him that the decoy had to make up of people who were always by his side to make it more believable.

“Fifteen,” Rashid said quietly, knowing Quatre was going to be very upset with this piece of news. At least he would understand that he was really in danger then.

“I…I... Trowa?” Quatre looked towards the person he had grown to trust in the few weeks, “can I have some time alone in the garden? I… I need some time to think…”

“Of course you can, little one,” Trowa replied soothingly, “just stay in the garden.”

“Thanks, Trowa,” Quatre replied mechanically as he walked unsteadily towards the door. He really needed to sort his thoughts.

“Will Master Quatre be okay?” Rashid asked as he watched the door close behind Quatre.

“He will be safe in the garden. We can see him from that window,” Treize answered as he glanced towards the window where Trowa was already staring out at, “he needs time to digest the information he had just received. And I think we all need to.”

“What are you going to do with Quatre?” Heero asked, straight to the point, “Are you taking him back to Mag?”

“Yes, but only if he wants to. I am not going to force Master Quatre to do anything he did not want to do. He had been through a lot,” Rashid replied.

“Good. Because if you are forcing him, I am not sure what I will do with you. Most likely nothing pretty,” Trowa glared at the ambassador seriously.

tbc....

peace knights chap 7

He smiled…

That was all Heero thought as he stared at the trusting amethyst eyes. Somehow, there was no more pain, no more sadness in the eyes he once saw. He tore his gaze away from those attractive eyes immediately as he realized his slave was coughing.

“Are you alright?” Heero asked frantically as he tapped Duo’s back gently.

Duo seemed to try to say something but nothing came out. He looked surprised and tried again. Yet this time, he started to cough again.

“Water?” Heero asked, concerned as he reached for the glass of water on the bedside table. Gently, he put it to his slave’s mouth and allowed him to sip the water once he stopped coughing.

“Will you be fine for a while?” Heero asked Duo, “I need to get the healer.”

Duo nodded weakly as he tried to give the other boy a smile. He tried to figure out answers to his questions. He tried hard to remember where he was, who the other person was and most importantly…

Who am I? Duo asked himself, as he closed his eyes, why can’t I remember anything? Who am I? Who am I? Think! Think! Think!

The more he thought about it, the more his head hurts. He tried to scream his frustration but somehow, no sound came out.

He pulled his hair as the pain increased. He tried to stop the pain but it only became worse. He opened his eyes and tried to focus on the scenery outside the window.
The glare of the sun hurt his eyes but somehow, he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Maybe clouds would be better, he thought, or maybe a drizzle? I like rain.

It was then the pain in his head decreased as dark clouds blocked the sun. Then rain started pouring down heavily without warning. Yells could be heard as people outdoors started to scramble for shelter.

Wow! I didn’t know what I wish could come true, Duo thought, but I thought a drizzle would be nice, not a shower.

He sat on the bed, entranced by the rain outside the window. Somehow the pain was gone.

~at the corridor~

“Trowa!” Heero yelled as he opened Trowa’s door.

“What?” Trowa snapped as he looked up from his book. He was supposed to finish this book and write a review for the doctors. Well, he was not Heero who could finish his in within an hour. He envied Heero’s photographic memory. A lot, really. He would give anything to join Quatre in the garden and not at this stupid book.

“Did you use your power?” Heero asked worriedly.

“No. why? Did someone use his power?” Trowa asked as he stood up, book abandoned.

Heero nodded. He had felt someone using his power. They never really used their power unless they were in danger. So it was not Trowa. Then he turned to move out of the room to find out if it was Wufei or Quatre.

However, he was stopped at the door by a drenched Quatre and an amused Wufei.

“Hi, prince Heero,” Quatre greeted the prince as he smiled sheepishly, “caught in the downpour.”

“Yeah. You two should be outside just now. The rain just pours down without warning. It was actually funny to see trained soldiers started yelling and sprinting for shelter all of a sudden due to rain. And what was even funnier was when their looks of surprise when the rain started to fall down heavily all of a sudden!” Wufei explained in an amused tone.

“You are dry,” Trowa commented as he took a towel and handed it to Quatre, resisting drying Quatre himself due to the two of them in the room.

“He was under a tree and had enough time to put up a magical shield, master,” Quatre explained.

“And you did not shield Quatre as well?” Trowa glared at Wufei.

“Well, he was too far away from me. And a little rain will not kill him,” Wufei said in a nonchalantly tone. He did not think Quatre would fall ill that easily.

“It’s okay, master,” Quatre said in defend of Wufei, “I was running around when the rain fell. It was entirely my fault.”

“Not your fault, Quatre,” Trowa said firmly.

“Yeah, it is the rain’s fault,” Wufei joked, “and why are you here, prince Heero?”

“Hn. I was trying to see who used his power. Was it you, Wufei?” Heero asked.

“Nope. I was careful not to use my power. And before you ask it was not Quatre’s. I was with him the entire time,” Wufei replied, “and I did not feel anything just now.”

“Neither did I,” Trowa answered as Quatre shook his head as well.

“Hn,” Heero grunted before he realized something and he swore.

“What?” Wufei asked as he watched the crown prince dashed away suddenly.

Trowa shrugged but he followed after his brother with Wufei and Quatre behind him. Somehow, it seemed that it was becoming a habit for the two princes to dash around the palace’s corridors nowadays.

“Sally!” Heero yelled as he banged on the healer, “Sally!”

“What?” Sally asked as she opened the door immediately, “it’s you, prince Heero. He’s awake?”

“Yes,” Heero answered curtly as he started to walk back to his room with Sally beside him, “but he still can’t speak.”

“That’s all?” Sally asked.

“No, he’s trembling and in pain but I don’t know why,” Heero admitted as he showed his worry, “is he going to be okay?”

Sally was about to ask more questions when Heero reached the door. However, Wufei yelled at him before he could even open the door.

“What?” Heero snapped. He was never known for his patience.

“Trowa and Quatre will not be able to get in,” Wufei answered nervously at the prince’s deadly glare.

“Hn,” Heero grunted but Wufei could feel his anger. Well, after all it was his fault.

Heero opened the door and stepped in, muttering something as he motioned the rest to enter. However, he did not even look to see if the rest of them were following before he turned and made his way to the bed where his slave was in.

“Duo?” Sally called as she pushed Heero away to look at the boy, thus enabling the rest of the occupants to see Duo as well.

However, what they saw was not the frightened boy they were used to for the few days before the attack. Instead of amethyst eyes that were blank with emotions, they were now bright with innocence and trust.

“Duo?” Sally asked as the boy just looked at her with confusion.

“Remember me? Sally?” Sally asked but those eyes gained no recognition, “okay, just know that I am a healer and wants to make you feel better. So I have to give you a checkup if that is okay with you? I mean you no harm.”

And she was rewarded with a bright smile.

~ In the same dark manor~

“What do you mean by you fail?”

“I am sorry, Sir. But I will succeed the next time! Give me another chance, Sir!”

“You have already lost your chance!”

“But Sir! I will kill him! I want to kill him!”

“So? You fail! That is enough!”

“But, Sir! Let me try again!”

“Give me a reason.”

“If I don’t kill him now, he is going to kill me in future!”

“Well, you can try again. But not now. Wait for my orders.”

“Thank you, Sir!”


~in the garden of gundam palace~

“Duo! Get back here!” Wufei yelled after the laughing boy who had tagged him and ran away.

The boy just laughed and ran even faster. Wufei yelled angrily at the injustice of Duo’s actions but he could not stop the smile on his face. He looked over to Quatre who smiled apologetically to him before dashing off as well.

It had been a whole week since the attack on Duo. He had recovered but all his memory was lost. However, somehow, Wufei was glad that he had lost his memory. The boy without his memory was innocent and cheerful. No dark past or fear haunted his eyes. He was always smiling and was so trusting that Wufei would like to kill the one who had broken Duo before.

Though Duo was much happier, he still could not speak. Sally said it was something in his subconscious that renders him mute. Duo was upset without the use of his voice but he sure was optimistic. The lack of his voice did not keep him from getting into mischief. And Duo was very good at sneaking around, much to Wufei’s annoyance. What was worse was that prince Heero had to resume his studies since summer break was over and Wufei was to teach and look after Duo and Quatre about the workings of the palace.

Quatre was quiet and listened attentively while Duo was frequently distracted. However, he was able to understand what Wufei was saying and quick to grasp any difficult concepts. Currently, he had been able to convince Wufei to have lessons in the garden with Quatre’s help. Though Duo could not speak, his eyes spoke volumes. Together with Quatre, the two of them could more or less get anything they want.

Quatre was sweet and polite while Duo was charming and mischievous. Each of them held a special place in everyone’s heart. The two of them might be slaves but none of the servants treated them as such.

It might be Wufei’s imagination but he thought that he sensed an air of regal confidence. But then Quatre was a slave, there was no way he possessed such confidence. Then again, Quatre never spoke of his past. All of them only knew that Quatre suffered a lot due to his powers as a peace knight. He looked very upset at the slight mention of his family. Well, at least he was comfortable around them though Wufei was not sure if he knew they were peace knights as well. It seemed that Trowa did tell him but Quatre did not manage to catch the meaning or hear the words.

But whatever the case was, there were only short of one more knight. Water. The knight who could control water. Whoever he was, Wufei hoped he would be found soon. Powers especially like theirs might not be good to leave unsupervised. All of them had to train and keep their power under control. Even Quatre’s. Well, since the two princes were going to be busy, Wufei was given the task again.

Not that it was bad; he enjoyed having things to do other than just studying old books or checking the wards in the palace. Teaching Duo was a challenge and Quatre was so much easier. But he could still manage fine. The only thing that was a bit more troubling was that he would have to leave Duo somewhere so he would not see Quatre using his powers. They had decided to keep it a secret from Duo. Not that they did not trust him. It was just that the fewer Duo knows, the less the risk of him being hurt will be smaller.

It was then the feeling of something hitting his back brought him back to reality. Annoyed, he looked around and found a grinning boy hanging upside down from the tree closest to him. Before he could grab the boy, the boy moved quickly and climbed up the tree.

“Duo! Get down here!” Wufei yelled angrily, “you are to have mathematics now and not tree climbing! Or even playing catch-me-if-you-can with me or Quatre! Get down now!”

Duo just laughed and stuck his tongue at the ranting Wufei. He found a branch that looked sturdy enough for him to rest on and made himself comfortable there. However, it was not long before something grabbed his braid and pulled hard.

He gasped before he fell to the ground. Luckily for him, he did not climb very high. He fell onto something. Or rather someone.

“Get off me, Duo!” Wufei yelled as the boy scrambled to his feet and tried to get of again.

“No you don’t,” Wufei said calmly as he reached and pulled at the braid for the second time in the past ten minutes.

Duo whimpered as he fell again and glared at Wufei for pulling at his braid. He pouted as Wufei continued to rant about the injustice of running away from lessons. Duo just listened halfheartedly.

It was boring. Soon, he knew that Wufei would try to make him read about some boring essay again and make him write down what he thought about it. Well, how could he get away from this?

Umm… if I try to distract him? Or I run away quickly? No. try that before, Duo thought, maybe I told him I am sick? Nope. Heero will know. Then he will worry. He is so nice. I don’t want him to worry. Actually, Wufei is nice to me as well. But I don’t want to study. Umm… what to do?

He looked around absentmindedly, ignoring Wufei’s glare and ranting. What to do? Duo continued to plot in his mind.

“Duo! You are not even listening to me! That is injustice!” Wufei screamed. No, yelled. He would never admit that he screamed. That was what an onna does, not him.

It was then Duo started to point frantically at something behind him.

Must be another trick, Wufei thought as he glared at the panicky boy in front of him.
“No, Duo. I am not falling for such a stupid trick,” Wufei said as he tried to grab Duo who had started to run again. He held onto the boy’s right arm but Duo tried to break free of his grip. It was strange. Duo did not seem to be acting.

Wufei turned, just in time to catch sight of a group of soldiers surrounding Quatre. Shocked, he let go of Duo and sprinted to Quatre with Duo following behind him.

“What are you all doing?” Wufei yelled at the soldiers as he made his way next to Quatre. He noted that the soldiers surrounding Quatre were not of the palace. They were from Mag. What were they trying to do with Quatre?

“We meant no harm, sorcerer,” one of them said as he stepped forward.

To Wufei’s surprise, the one who spoke was someone he had seen at the banquet before he left to check on the palace’s wards. What was he doing here?

“Ambassador? What are you and your soldiers trying to do with prince Trowa’s slave?” Wufei asked suspiciously as he set his glare on Rashid, the ambassador from Mag.
He might be an ambassador but he would not be polite to someone who tried to hurt one of his friends.

“The prince’s slave?” Rashid asked, looking surprised, “he is really the prince’s slave?”

“Yes,” Wufei replied as he narrowed his eyes at Rashid, “what is going on here?”

“Oh Allah! He’s the prince slave? A slave?” Rashid muttered as he looked at Quatre, face paled, “your.”

What Rashid was going to say was cut off with a slap. Surprised, Wufei looked at Quatre. Before he could react, Duo reached and tried to pull Quatre away. However, Quatre ignored Duo’s attempt as his eyes filled with unshed tears.

“Don’t you dare call me that! I have not been that for years! All of you hate me! You don’t want me!” Quatre yelled angrily as tears threatened to fall.

No! I will not cry! I have no ties with them. Not anymore, Quatre thought as he glared at the man he once was very close with.

“But… Master…” Rashid tried to say something but Quatre cut him off again.

“If you still respect me, let me go,” Quatre said simply, “I have no ties with you or anyone. I am just a slave. A nobody.”

“But,” Rashid protested, “but your Father is very worried about you, Master Quatre! He wants you to be safe!”

“Safe?” Quatre laughed bitterly, “I am safe here. I have people who accept me. Not people who abandon me. Not people who just ignore me!”

“But,” Rashid tried again, “he is still your father. He needs you. And your sisters! Don’t you remember them? Especially princess Iria?”

“No. she let Father send me away. They did not listen to my pleas. And none of you, not even one of you came to see me in that year. All of you were glad to send me away! So don’t talk to me about them or anything to do with them. I am no longer a Winner. I am just a slave, a prince’s slave,” Quatre said coldly but tears fell, “at least prince Trowa and the others in this palace accept me and treat me well.”

“Quatre?” Wufei spoke up, noticing that Rashid and the other soldiers surrounding them were all quiet and looked very upset and guilty. But Wufei could not understand what was happening. Who is Quatre? Or rather was since he said that it was in the past.

“I am okay,” Quatre said after he took a few minutes to calm himself, “can we go, Wufei? It’s time for the lessons.”

Duo pulled Quatre’s sleeve as he tried to express his concern. It was so frustrating that he could not speak. Quatre looked so upset. He wanted to cheer him up. Furthermore, who were these soldiers? He had never seen them before. Well, even if he had seen them before, he could not remember since he had lost his memory. Somehow, he did not think they were bad people but then they had made Quatre upset. So they were bad.

Quatre tried to smile weakly as he turned his glance to the worried boy behind him, “Duo, I am fine. Don’t worry. Let’s go for our lessons.”

“Master…” Rashid’s voice trailed off as Quatre gave him a glare.

“I am not. Now, please let me go,” Quatre said firmly as he walked away with Duo following, his hands still holding onto Quatre’s right sleeve, hoping to get Quatre’s attention. But Quatre just kept moving forward.

The soldiers parted when he moved towards them. They bowed their heads slightly as a show of respect. Somehow, Wufei thought he saw looks of guilt, sadness and even anger on their faces as they looked at Quatre.

“What is going on here?” Wufei asked, perplexed at the fact that the ambassador looked so upset and all the Mag soldiers respect the prince’s slave, “who is Quatre? Or rather was?”

“That is our crown prince Quatre Raberba Winner,” Rashid replied firmly, “and that will never change. Not now or ever.”


~at the library ~

Are you alright? Duo wrote on his board with his special pen. Both were given to him by Wufei, to ensure that he could communicate with others even when he could not talk.

“Yes, I am” Quatre smiled weakly but Duo could see the unshed tears in his aquamarine eyes.

Yeah right, you are. If you are, we will not be hiding in the library. And I wonder where Wufei is? He knows we will be in the library if one of us is upset. So why isn’t he coming here? Duo wrote quickly before Quatre could answer anything.

Quatre smiled at his friend. It was nice to have people who care about him. He was happy here. Maybe even more than his childhood.

“You are not needed here.”

“I’m so sorry, Quatre but it is for your own good!”

A gentle slap on his arms brought Quatre back to reality. Duo was looking at him worriedly. He shook his head to calm his friend.

“Bad memories,” He explained curtly.

Memories? Are memories bad? Duo wrote again, is that why I can’t remember them? But I want my memories back. It’s so hard sometimes.

Quatre smiled sadly. It was always sad to lose one’s memories. However, in Duo’s case, he was happy for him. Losing his memory enable Duo to be so innocent and happy. To Quatre, it was worth it. He was very pleased to see Duo so unlike the boy he had met at the slavers’.

He had remembered the first time he had seen Duo. Duo was thrown into the room or rather cage that he and a few slaves shared. It was a long time before anyone of them dared to approach the unmoving boy after the slavers had thrown him in. actually, he was sure that he was the only one who dared approach Duo.

Slaves did not make friends and especially with another slave. It was for a very simple reason. Slaves were killed easily. It was foolish to care for someone who might die the next day.

Yet, something made Quatre approach Duo. It was not usual for him to approach someone. He was usually scared and frightened of anyone since he was captured. He wanted to throw away his feeling ever since the day his father sent him away. He was so scared of caring for someone and then betrayed by the same person. However, something told him to approach Duo. Quatre turned him over to see if he was still conscious.

The first time he looked into those eyes was not everything he could forget. Duo looked so blank. No emotions or anything. Not even fear that almost all slaves had in their eyes, no matter how they tried to hide. And Quatre was very good at reading people.

“What happened to you?” he had whispered at the boy. But the boy only stared at the ground, unblinking, and uncaring.

Now, the same boy was in front of him, scrambling to ask questions to ask. He might still be unable to talk but he was happy, cheerful and innocent. It might be temporary but Quatre hoped Duo would never remember his past. His memories filled with too much tears.

A hit on his head brought him back to reality to a glaring Duo who had just thrown his board over at the boy sitting over him. He chuckled at the boy as he picked up the board to read what was written.

JUST BECAUSE I AM MUTE DOESN’T MEAN THAT I LIKE BEING IGNORED!!! First Wufei and now you! Duo had written across the board, AND I HATE BEING IGNORED!!! So next time before you go into a daze, GIVE ME A WARNING!!!

Quatre could not stop laughing at the words. He tried to compose himself but failed when he saw the pouting boy. Duo sure was comical. It was so different from the boy he was thinking about earlier. Yet, he could see that one thing never changed, Duo was still concerned and tried to help him. He knew Duo was trying to cheer him up. Even if it involved throwing things at him. It was successful since he sure was feeling much better now.

“Thank you, Duo,” Quatre smiled at the boy who immediately loses his pouts and looked at him in concern, “I am better now.”

Just as Duo was about to gestured something, Hilde’s voice interrupted them.

“Quatre? Are you there?” Hilde asked as she entered the library. She knew that Duo and Quatre like spending time in the library and the garden.

“Here!” Quatre answered as Hilde poked her head into the room.

“Prince Trowa wanted to speak with you,” Hilde said before she asked worriedly, “you are not in trouble right?”

“I’m not sure about that,” Quatre said uncertainly.

“I hope not,” Hilde replied sadly. She had taken quite a liking to Quatre since Quatre was so nice to Duo. She could see that he really cares about people around him.

“And Duo, prince Heero said you can stay here till dinner,” Hilde continued, noticing Duo sitting beside Quatre.

Duo smiled and waved at them before he disappeared somewhere among the shelves of books. He loved books. He always enjoys reading in the library. Quatre and Hilde smiled at their excited friend as they started their way to prince Trowa’s room.

Well, it seemed like Rashid did tell them of my past, Quatre thought, if they want to hear whole thing, it will be a long story.


~somewhere in the library~


Hmm… I wonder what books I will read today, Duo thought as he picked up a book with a very nice hardcover, maybe this. The legend of Peace knights, I wonder what it is about. It seemed thick enough to last me till dinner.

With that, he took the book carefully out from the rack. He knew that all the books here were precious and he was so happy that the princes allowed both him and Quatre to read the books.

With the book in his hands, he looked around to make sure that he was alone before he opened a door that was painted as a wall. It was not easy to find the door. The only reason Duo found this secret room was the fact that he fell into the room a week ago. Since then he came into this room whenever he was alone. He did not tell anyone about this room, not even Quatre.

The room was a bit dirty so Duo cleaned up a bit. It did not have the lamps Wufei supplied around the castle. Wufei’s lamps will lit up with a tap unlike the usual candles or oil lamps. Instead there was a nice fireplace and a few candles, providing more than enough illumination around the room for him to read comfortably.

Soon he was lost in the world of peace knights…

“What are you doing here?” an angry voice demanded suddenly.

Shocked, Duo dropped his book and glanced at the man standing at the other side of the room. He caught sight of the clothes the man was wearing and he kneeled down immediately.

“Always bow when you see someone dressed in expensive clothing,” Heero had told him once.

“Yes. You have to remember that, Duo. It is very important. You might get in trouble if you don’t bow to some people,” Wufei explained.

Duo had looked at them in confusion. Before Quatre stepped in and said in more simple words.

“Duo, both of us are slaves. We are supposed to respect everyone. The maids and most of the guards have grown fond of you and they would not take any offence even if you play pranks on them. They like you. But for people of higher status, they want you to respect them. So you kneel and bow when you see them okay? That will make them feel better,” Quatre explained patiently, “and if you don’t kneel and bow to them, they might punish you. And then you will be in pain. And with you in pain, Heero will be upset. Do you want him to be upset?”

Duo shook his head and nodded.

“So you promise?” Heero asked and he signed in relief at Duo’s solemn nod. He did not like the fact that Duo had to kneel and bow at someone. But he knew Duo had to do that. He was a slave. Though he disliked this fact, he had to accept it. Just as Trowa accept this fact about Quatre.

It was then Duo nudged Heero and smiled at him innocently, he wanted Heero to be happy and that was all that matter.

So here he was doing what he had promised. He wondered who the man was. How had he even got into the room? He was facing the door he entered and he did not notice anyone coming in. the man must have entered from another door. But how? He did not even know there might be people who knew about this room.

“Answer me,” the man demanded.

Duo trembled a bit at the angry tone the man used but he was lost as to how to answer him without looking up or gesturing. He shook his head in frustration.

“What do you mean by shaking your head? I ask for an answer!” the man snapped angrily.

Well, he have the same patience as Heero has, Duo thought, how to tell him.

Finally taking a chance, Duo looked up and gestured his mouth and then pointed to the board he had left on the armchair he was sitting on earlier. He took the pen and held it out.

The man’s eyes that were glaring at him softened, “you can’t speak?”

Duo nodded and moved towards the board. He took the chance to study the man. The man was dressed in expensive clothes like Trowa and Heero. He had an air around him that Duo could not recognize. Most importantly, he realized that there were similarities between Heero and this man. Both of them had the same glare though their eye colors were different. Both of them had unruly hair that was dark though Heero’s seemed a bit darker.

Yes, sir. I have an accident or something and I have lost all my memories, Duo wrote.

“You are a slave?” the man asked. He noticed the collar Duo was wearing after he had read the words Duo had written.

Duo nodded, a bit annoyed at the tone the man was using. So what aren’t slaves human? He hated all these people who think they are the greatest just because of some blood.

“So what are you doing here? Who is your master? How dare he let you around unsupervised,” the man demanded.

Duo rolled his eyes. Somehow, he was no longer fearful of this man. Maybe it was the fact that he realized that the man looked very alike to Heero. Fierce but kind.

I stumbled into it, Duo wrote before he passed the board over to the man to read.

“If that is the case, you should get out of here and never come back,” the man said calmly though he still seemed angry.

Duo was annoyed. Why should he leave the place just because he asked him to? Sure, he was a slave. But he did not like the thought of leaving just because he was told to.

Why? Duo wrote. If he explained nicely, maybe I will, Duo thought

“Because I say so,” the man replied, annoyed that Duo was not obeying him.

Duo rolled his eyes. Who does this man think he was? He ignored the man and settled down once. No way he was leaving just because he said so. Somehow, Duo formed an attachment to this room.

“What are you doing? I want you to get out of here!” the man yelled angrily but Duo just ignored him.

He pretended to continue reading the book but he was alert to anything the man might have done in his anger. Heero had told him how dangerous it was to make someone angry. True, he should not have angered him in the first place but he felt that the man should take it for granted that everyone will obey his commands.

“Stop ignoring me, you slave or I will punish you!” the man threatened.

Duo sighed and picked his board up. He scribbled something before he threw it in front of the man.

Well, using violence will mean that you are not confident that what you say is right. So you need this show of power to prove that you are right, Duo wrote as he held the board for the man to read.

“You insolent slave!” the man yelled angrily, “you… rude child!”

The man could not thought of a better way to scold the rude slave in front of him. It had been years since someone disobeyed him in his face and never had it been a slave who dared to defy him.

I am not a CHILD! I have enough of that from Wufei! I AM NOT A CHILD! YOU STUPID OLD MAN!!! Duo wrote angrily, throwing at board at the man but he missed.

“You are a child! And I am not an old man!” the man snapped back and he threw the board back at Duo who in turn dodged as well.

Could have fooled me. The way you were ranting is like a seventy old man who was angry about some kids teasing his dog! Duo scribbled and threw the board again.

“Yeah? And the way you are acting is like a five year old losing his temper!” the man replied and threw the board at Duo again.

AM NOT!!! Duo wrote and held it up.

“are too!” the man yelled as the two of them glared at each other.

Finally Duo backed down sulkily. He pouted at him before he realized what he was doing. Then he giggled as he realized how stupid the two of them were acting. A rude brat and a ranting old man. So unlike their appearances.

The man looked at the laughing slave as if the slave was crazy. Who would suddenly laugh uncontrollably when he was arguing? It was then he started to think about what they had been doing. That brought a smile to his face. It felt good. It had been so long since he lost his temper and even much longer since he had smiled. The both of them had been acting real weird just now.

I’m sorry, Duo gestured. True, he was not supposed to disobey orders but he could not help it. It was in his nature to defy orders unless the orders were reasonable. Being of a higher rank was never enough a reason to Duo.

The man smiled. It was strange but he was not angry at being disobeyed by a slave. Somehow, he was even happy about it. It had been so long since someone talked to him like that. But he knew he had to tell the slave not to do such a thing with others. Not many would hesitate to punish the slave if he pulled a stunt like this.

“I guess I’m wrong in making you leave because of my rank. But bear in mind, other people might not appreciate being talked to like that. You can get into real trouble you know,” the man said gently.

Duo smiled brightly. He knew the man was concerned for him. And somehow he liked the man. Again, it might be the fact that the man looks like Heero. But there seemed to be something in the man that made Duo want to cheer him up.

Duo picked up his board again and started to scribble, is this room really important to you? If yes, I will leave and promise not to tell anyone about it. I have not told anyone yet. I really like this place. I know it sounds a bit weird but there is a feeling of something nice here. I don’t know how to describe it but it is something that really warmed my heart? Umm… I don’t know.

The man widened his eyes a bit before he composed himself quickly. It was weird but this slave here managed to make him lose his composure so many times within ten minutes. And the fact that he sensed something.

You must have thought I am weird or something. But do you mind if you tell me the reason you don’t want me here? I know I am just a slave. I should not ask questions or go into any places I like. I also know that it is easy for you to kill me. But… Duo smiled a bit nervously as he stopped for a while, looking at the man, I really like to know. And maybe I will not come in here again if I understand your reason. But you know you have got to get someone to clean this place at least fortnightly. This place is so dirty when I first stumbled into it! Cobwebs and dust everywhere!

The man chuckled before he became serious. Somehow, he felt that it was okay to talk to this slave. He knew that the slave had no idea as to who he is. Well, if he knew, he did not think the slave would argue with him. But then he knew that this boy was different.

“This room used to belong to my wife. It was her reading room. No one in the castle knew about this room. It was a place for us to talk or read in peace. But then she passed away. I… I... I only entered every year at our wedding anniversary,” the man said in a monotone but Duo could detect the sadness behind his tone.

I’m sorry. I will not come into this room anymore. It is my wrong and if you want to punish me, I will accept it. I should not have come in here. I… have tainted your memory. I am sorry, Duo apologized. He felt so bad, disturbing other people’s memories. He had lost his own so he knew how precious memories were.

“No. you are not at fault. And I did not mind you coming in as long as you help to clean up this place. And I think you will once again brighten up this room. It had been too dull since she passed away. But promise you will not tell anyone about this room or me for that matter,” the man said.

Yes, I promise! And I am Duo. I run. I hide. But I never lie! Duo grinned as he nodded.

The man smiled, “well, I guess I just have to trust you. I am Odin but you can just call me uncle since I am older than you.”

Hey! You are not that old! Why should I call you uncle? Duo protested.

“Maybe it is the fact that I have sons your age?” the man smirked.

WHAT?! You are kidding? You don’t look that old! Duo wrote in disbelief.

The man just continued smirking and Duo rolled his eyes. Talk about appearances being deceiving.

“So, Duo. What are you reading when I came into the room?”

Duo held the book cover for Odin to read. Odin looked a bit surprised at the title before he smiled.

“Peace knights. There is quite an interesting story. I’ve read about it,” Odin answered.

Duo smiled and pushed the book to Odin and pointed at him and then at the book.

“What? You want me to tell you about the story? Aren’t you going to read it?” Odin asked.

Nope! I read it because no one read it out to me. Can you tell me the story? Please? Really please? Duo pleaded as he turned his best puppy eyes at Odin. He knew till now, no one could say no to his look. Even Wufei had succumbed to it.

Odin just sighed in resignation as he started to tell the story, “it was said since long ago, that, whenever the world is in danger of being torn to pieces, five peace knights will be united….”